


Lies

by MisplacedLonelyHeartsAd



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Episode: s10e07 Girls Girls Girls, M/M, Pining Sam, Unrequited Dean Winchester/Sam Winchester, Unrequited Wincest, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-29
Updated: 2014-11-29
Packaged: 2018-02-27 11:15:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2690855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisplacedLonelyHeartsAd/pseuds/MisplacedLonelyHeartsAd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Short, angsty episode coda for "Girls, Girls, Girls," inside pining Sam's head.</p>
<p>
  <em>You don’t know why you ask these questions, the ones you know he’s not going to answer truthfully. He always tells you what he thinks you want to hear. Is it just for the comfort of hearing a familiar lie? He’s been lying to you all your life.</em>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lies

 

“What you said back there, about being past saving…Were you really—?”

You don’t know why you ask these questions, the ones you know he’s not going to answer truthfully. He always tells you what he thinks you want to hear. Is it just for the comfort of hearing a familiar lie? He’s been lying to you all your life.

They’re white lies, generally, the loving lies born of his irrepressible protective instinct, the ones you always believed when you were little and your hand was clasped tight and warm in his and he wouldn’t let anything hurt you, ever, _don’t worry, there’s nothing to be afraid of_. And as you both grew up, he became more adept at looking you straight in the eye and answering you with a smooth untruth, but you never became very adept at pretending that there were no doubts in your mind.

“I was just telling the guy what he needed to hear,” he says, and you nod, and he walks away, discussion over. When you catch up to him and ask, “How’s the face?” he waves the question away, but he does hand you the car keys.

Now here you two sit, in the sickly light of a 7-11 parking lot, his lips pursed with unspoken irritation, your brow furrowed while you fussily wrap a bag of frozen peas in a bandanna. You must look more distraught than you want to let on, for his expression softens when you hand him the bag, and he taps your knee twice, green eyes gentle with genuine concern. “What’s the matter?”

It almost makes you laugh, that “A guy was pointing a gun at your head and he might have killed you” is too commonplace an occurrence for you to warrant being upset about. And in fact, that is not what’s bothering you, nor is it the witch’s escape or even the deaths of those innocent, oblivious people.

It’s the panicky feeling of imminent loss that you feel whenever you are reminded of the mark on your brother’s arm, a feeling well-known from that terrifying year when every day dragged him closer to death by hellhounds, and it’s the memory of nights when you were helpless with anguish and he soothed you with tender words and tenderer caresses that he regretted later. 

Now here you two sit, inches apart in the front seat of your father’s Impala, and you can’t talk about this because, goddammit, it is not something he ever wants to discuss (can you blame him?), and you sure as hell are not going to blast him with your hungry, desperate, juvenile shit on top of everything else. So you bring your left hand up to steady his head, your fingers just brushing lightly against his hair, but instead of pressing your mouth against his and murmuring “This is me being available” like you long to, you only guide his hand holding the bag of frozen peas to his purpling cheekbone. Then—because your brother has taught you everything he knows, whether he intended to or not—you look him straight in the eye and tell him what you think he wants to hear, the lie slipping from your lips as softly as a kiss: “Nothing.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at: [amisplacedlonelyheartsad.tumblr.com](http://amisplacedlonelyheartsad.tumblr.com) or on LJ at: [misplaced_ad.livejournal.com](http://misplaced-ad.livejournal.com)


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